


I Wish I Wasn't So Stupid

by Wont



Category: Moominvalley (Cartoon 2019), Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, 楽しいムーミン一家 | Moomin (Anime 1990)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cover Art, F/M, Feral Snusmumriken | Snufkin, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Lilla My | Little My is a good sister, M/M, Muminmamman | Moominmamma is the best, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Panic Attacks, Peter Pan References, Rated T for language, Snufkin hates showers, Snusmumriken | Snufkin Has Paws and a Tail, and also for dirty jokes (cortesy of Little My), is this enough tags, moomin is confused, snufmin, wishes make you fly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29610129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wont/pseuds/Wont
Summary: At first, he wasn't scared, he thought it was some kind of blessing.It was a day like any other day in Moominvalley, mid-fall, except it turned out to not be a normal day at all. The mumrik had woken up in his tent as usual, made his own breakfast as usual, waited for Moomin to wake up as usual, and he only noticed there was something unusual about it when his friend pointed it out: his feet weren't touching the ground.OR,Snufkin starts floating, nobody knows why - and Moomin starts freaking out, nobody knows why either (except maybe for Moominmama). It's up for Little My and Snorkmaiden to help those two dorks.
Relationships: Lilla My | Little My & Snusmumriken | Snufkin, Muminmamman | Moominmamma & Snorkfröken | The Snork Maiden, Muminmamman | Moominmamma & Snusmumriken | Snufkin, Muminmamman | Moominmamma/Muminpappan | Moominpappa, Mumintrollet | Moomintroll & Snorkfröken | The Snork Maiden, Mumintrollet | Moomintroll & Snusmumriken | Snufkin, Mumintrollet | Moomintroll/Snusmumriken | Snufkin, Snorken | The Snork & Snörkfroken | The Snork Maiden, Snusmumriken | Snufkin & Everyone
Comments: 56
Kudos: 53





	1. The "Blessing"

At first, he wasn't scared, he thought it was some kind of blessing. 

It was a day like any other day in Moominvalley, mid-fall, except it turned out to not be a normal day at all. The mumrik had woken up in his tent as usual, made his own breakfast as usual, waited for Moomin to wake up as usual, and he only noticed there was something unusual about it when his friend pointed it out: his feet weren't touching the ground.

That was when Snufkin found he could jump a lot higher now and stay a lot longer in the air. Of course the first thing he and Moomin thought of doing was telling all of their friends.

He could almost reach the treetops if he tried, and he could safely jump off cliffs – falling too slowly to hurt himself by hitting the ground. But it didn't seem to work when Snufkin tried to float with someone, the extra weight keeping him on his feet. Still, they had fun. Snufkin even helped Sniff get his kite back, which had been stuck between some high branches for a while now.

It was only after sundown that Snufkin started to worry about his own.. strange behavior to gravity.

His friends had headed home, he had too and he was about to go fish his dinner when Moomin called his name from behind him. 

"Yes, Moomintroll?"

"We're having stew for dinner! It smells sooo good..."

"You know I'd rather eat by myself, Moomin," he shook his head. "Besides, I don't want to be a burden to Moominmama by bringing an extra plate for her to fill."

“You’re not a burden!”

“As long as I stay here,” he added stubbornly, chuckling at the sight of his friend’s pout.

“It’s just that, today was so fun! I didn’t want it to end just yet…” Moomintroll sat down on the grass beside the mumrik, staring at the flowing river before turning to him again, “What do you think caused this?”

“Caused what?” Snufkin then saw he was still floating above the ground, only his coat touching the soil. “Oh. I don’t know. Perhaps it was a fairy who cast a spell on me in my sleep?”

“Mm, maybe. It doesn’t seem to bother you though.”

“It really doesn’t. If the fairy wanted me to be upset about being able to walk on air then she failed miserably,” he smirked. “And if it doesn’t go away, I can always put my backpack on, it’s heavy enough to lower me back to the earth.”

Moomin snorted and laughed with his friend for a short time before standing up again, looking like he just had the most brilliant idea.

"Snufkin! I know you want to have dinner out here but what if you could go inside just to play your harmonica? It'd be just the perfect way to end this special day! I could go get the others too so we could all dance together!"

"Special day?" Snufkin looked at his empty fish bucket and sighed, "Alright. I might as well have some stew, hm?"

Moomin helped his friend up as he cheered and went off to find Snorkmaiden, Little My and Sniff. Hopefully they wouldn't get mad at him for disturbing them again.

And then Snufkin wished he hadn't agreed to any of it. He wished he could have been a little more obstinate but he knew he would have given up to Moomin's kicked puppy eyes anyway.

The food was great, they talked and that was great too, when Snufkin started to play and everyone started to dance was just as great. What wasn't great was when he tried to dance with Moomin and Snorkmaiden decided she wasn't going to switch partners. 

Moominpappa and Moominmama were married and they still had switched partners, he had told her. Plus, he had been waiting the whole night to be Moomin's partner – he did not tell her that. But it seemed as though that didn't matter because Moomin was her boyfriend and he was the only one who she should dance with.

"But, Snorkmaiden, everyone has switched partners! That's the fun part, isn't it?" Moomin tried to reason with her, "We could switch partners only for this turn and-"

Now she looked like she was about to cry.

Yes, it was Moomin's duty, as her boyfriend, to make her happy but did she  _ really _ have to make it so difficult? Moomin sighed, "Snorkmaiden-"

"I'll go dance with Little My then," Snufkin cut Moomin off and restarted his song, walking over to his next dance partner a bit too calmly. 

As everyone continued to dance, Snufkin closed his eyes to zone out for a bit while listening to his own music. He wished he could dance with Moomin, that would've been their first time together.

He wished Moomin's duty could be to be with him, not to be with Snorkmaiden. Yes, that would be nice. They could dance and dance, and maybe Snufkin could even put his harmonica down so they could dance properly. Though that would require music from somewhere else. Snufkin wondered if his heartbeat would be enough along with Moomin's and nature's rhythmic silence. Just the two of them, the river's water, the trees' leaves, the wind and the-

"Hey!" he heard his sister calling, "Get back down here! I can't dance with you if I can't reach you!"

"It is not my fault you're so short, Little My."

But as he opened his eyes, letting his thoughts go away, he noticed the short girl was a lot shorter now. Everyone was a lot shorter now actually. 

"Oh dear!" Moominmama let go of Papa, rushing to the kitchen and coming back with a big basket of fruits, "Are you alright, Snufkin?"

"I am, thank you." He took the basket, the weight of it which lowered him just enough for Moominmama to be able to reach his foot and pull him down, “I hadn’t even noticed I was going too high.”

“What a peculiar reaction to dancing.” Moominpappa came in to help Mama hold the flying mumrik. Moomin just rushed upstairs, quick to come back down with an old backpack. Snufkin put it on, returning Moominmama her fruit basket, now managing to stay still by himself.

“Very peculiar indeed. But I don’t think it’s any reaction to dancing. To playing songs maybe.”

“But you woke up floating, Snufkin, does that mean you played your harmonica in your sleep too?” Sniff asked. 

“Unlikely, Moomin would have stayed up all night,” Moominpappa glanced over to Mama, ignoring the flustered Moomin just behind her. “Is there anything about flying people in grandma’s books?”

“Well, I do recall reading a few chapters of a book that was entirely about flying people, but that was long ago and I don’t remember a thing,” Moominmama tapped her own chin. “Snufkin dear, try and remember yesterday night. Is there anything that could have made you float?”

The floating mumrik hummed, head low. There could be something, yes, there was something. But what was it?


	2. Happy Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snufkin stole a towel.

If there was anything Snufkin was sure of was that his last night had not been a good night. 

He had spent the day wandering around, which was nothing unexpected from the mumrik. Good part of his time in Moominvalley was spent like this and he had no regrets. The fall was beautiful, all nature colored in red and orange tones, gray and windy weather.. it was perfect and just so peaceful, it wouldn't be fair for him not to take a whole day to simply appreciate it all. And also, he could use that as an excuse for spending time alone. Not that he needed an excuse, but he always felt bad for leaving without saying anything. 

One of his favorite autumn things was the small chrysanthemums field that grew a little further up the Lonely Mountains. Every single fall he would go there, where nobody would bother him, and take a nap. 

But this time there was somebody there already, he saw. As he crawled closer to the intruder, he noticed there were two of them. And they looked a lot like moomins. Oh wait, those were Snorkmaiden and Moomin. Snufkin thought of calling out to them, maybe asking how they found his (not really his) secret (not so secret) chrysanthemums field, but then he caught sight of a- what was that?- a flower crown in Moomin’s hands. It seemed to be his tenth flower crown because Snorkmaiden was practically covered in flowers – flower bracelets, flower necklaces, flower anklets…

So he didn't step any closer, mouth zipped shut, and he hid between the flowers to give the couple the privacy they deserved – and to maybe hear what they were saying.

"You look stunning, Snorkmaiden!" The moomin had said, "Even more than the whole field itself!"

"Even more than all the fields in the world?" she blinked.

"They're nothing compared to you," Moomin nodded, handing her a pocket mirror, "See it for yourself, your flower-highness!"

Snorkmaiden giggled and Snufkin scoffed. No naps. He retreated slowly as quietly as possible back to the valley. It was easy to be quiet because his mind seemed to have retreated the place way before he did – he was stuck daydreaming.

Because it would be so nice to take a nap for the afternoon with Moomin, he had thought. He wished he could lay down and sleep with Moomin by his side, he trusts him enough for that. Snufkin was sure he would wake up to petals and a flower crown instead of his hat. He wished he could watch the clouds in the sky for hours and hours while chatting with his friend, caressing his white fur through his fingers until it started to get dark and too cold. 

He wished he could stop making forbidden scenarios in his head because Snorkmaiden was the one Moomin loved. 

  
  
  


"Happy thoughts," Snufkin declared, snapping back to the present, "That's what makes me fly."

"Oh, that makes sense! Yesterday you spent the whole day on your own. You always say you think a lot when you're alone!" Little My noted. But Moomin's gasp cut her off. 

"Snufkin, you're just like Peter Pan!"

"What?"s and "Who's Peter Pan?"s were heard before Moomintroll started again.

"I read it in one of Mymble's books: Peter Pan could fly whenever he had happy thoughts. But he used fairy dust to do it.."

"So I was right about the fairy?" Snufkin's eyebrows rose, "How come my wildest guesses are always right?"

"Well, those are great news. If it is really just fairy dust then a quick bath shall solve it all," Moominmama smiled. Her smile wasn't very well welcomed by the now wide eyed mumrik. 

"No no no, there's no need- I just- The fairy dust will probably get off me if I roll on the dirt or stand in the wind for long enough, Moominmama."

Moominmama was having none of it. She locked the doors and motioned for Papa to close the windows.

"Oh no.”

"OH YES!" Little My grinned, "IT'S ON!"

Snufkin immediately slipped the backpack off him and jumped so high he got to the roof, to which he stuck his claws. Being antigravity wasn't that bad after all, he decided, crawling upstairs upside down while all the others followed and called after him. They split. The windows were all closed. This was going to be hard to escape.

Obviously it wasn't the first time they had done it. Every year on the hottest days, the Moomins tried to force Snufkin into a bath. They failed most of the times, the mumrik was too fast, but this time he was flying and he didn't quite know how to control it.

Still, flying or not, he wasn't going to give in.

"C'mon, Snufkin! It's just a bath!" Little My called from the top of the stairs. 

"No, thank you, I've already had mine this year," he said as he threw his hat at her. The hat wasn't that big but she was small enough to get stuck inside of it. Her brother took the chance to release his claws off the roof and lower himself to reach the doorknob – which doorknob? He didn't have time to check as he rushed inside and locked the door.

It was Moominpappa's office, he concluded as he looked around. He floated above the desk, which was littered with paper rolls and unfinished pages. He has always admired th–

"Got you!" He heard Moominpappa behind him. 

But Snufkin was faster, breaking through the window just in time. Moominpappa had been hiding in his office, huh? Well, now there was no way anybody could catch Snufkin because he was out of the house and–

"I got him! I got him!" he heard Sniff. 

He was still falling, too slow because of the floating, and right under his feet there were Sniff and Snorkmaiden. They had expected him to jump off a window? 

Oh but Snufkin wasn't stupid either. He just had to wish happy things and he would stop falling!

He wished that was Moomin trying to catch him. Under different circumstances, that would've been lovely. He wished he was falling right into Moomin's arms.

And his plan worked perfectly as he seemed to stop falling and started floating higher instead. What he didn't know was that he was floating right to an open window – Moomin's room – and was caught by the one he wished so bad to. 

Now he wished he hadn't wished that.

"Snufkin, you're flying higher than before!" his white furred friend noticed, looking at the way his own feet floated above the ground while holding onto Snufkin. "You had fun running from us, didn't you?"

"Now, Moomintroll, I am not going to lie," he proceeded to quietly watch the door, which made Moomin giggle.

  
  


It didn't take long for the others to come help take their floating friend to the bathtub Moominmama had been preparing during the 'hunt'. Well, more like ‘help shove their floating, hissing and struggling friend into the bathtub’. Such betrayal. Luckily, Mama didn't let anybody in during the bath, because even though Snufkin had his clothes on, he still didn't want to be watched – he was burning red in embarrassment about having Mama to wash him. 

"You know, Snufkin dear, you can always be honest with me," she told him while washing his hair.

He knew what she meant. Moominmama had always been able to see through people. Sad? She knew it no matter how genuine your smile seemed. Anxious? She knew it no matter how calm you tried to sound. Overwhelmed? Angry? Tired? Scared? Hurting? She knew it all. There was no point in trying to hide anything from Mama, sometimes Snufkin even suspected she was a witch.

"I know, Moominmama," he nodded, staring at the bubbles on the water, "But, frankly, the only reason I can think for my floating is happy thoughts."

"May I ask what kind of happy thoughts?"

He bit his tongue, trying to think of an answer that didn’t involve Moomin. The ‘happy thoughts’ he had were not only happy thoughts, they were envious, selfish, and pointless thoughts. 

“Wishful thoughts, not memories but things I hope would happen to me. It only seems to work if I  _ wish _ for something.”

“Things like waking up to warm pancakes or to softer and better clothes?”

“I like waking up to apples and bread, and I consider my clothes to be perfect.”

“Not material wishes then? Maybe things like being able to breathe fire or to be faster than the lightning bolt?”

“To be honest, fire breathing would be very useful for camping bonfires. But no, I don’t really fancy magic or supernatural powers.”

Moominmama hummed in understanding as she got up and brought Snufkin a white towel and dry clothes, suddenly pausing the interrogation.

“There you go. Those were Papa’s so they might be a bit.. big. You leave your wet clothes here in the bathroom so I can hang them later,” she offered a gentle smile while leaving that same old backpack next to the bathtub, “I’ll look for a solution to your floating as soon as I find that book, it seems that it wasn’t fairy dust that made you fly after all, was it?”

Snufkin had been holding a few heavy jam jars underwater this whole time to keep himself from flying back to the roof. He set them on the chair Moominmama was previously sitting on one by one and noticed that, yes, he was still flying.

“You’re right, it wasn’t fairy dust” he gripped the bathtub and pulled himself down, “Thank you anyways, Moominmama.”

  
  
  


First of all, he looked like an old man. 

Why did Moominpappa even have these? Snufkin decided not to wear the bow tie and the collared shirt Papa lended him. He was truly grateful for the cloth belt Mama handed him too, without it his pants would slip to his feet. So now he was wearing a way-too-large sweater, the biggest pants in the world,  _ that old backpack _ , still-wet hair and tail, raspberry scent and, thankfully, his own boots.

Secondly, was that towel made of moomin fur?

It was  _ so soft _ and fluffy. Was that towel Moomin’s? Because that would explain the flowers and rainbows smell. Ohh it was so nice. He had to either ask Moominmama for the towel or steal it to use it as his new blanket forever. Stealing was better, that's why Snufkin had packed the towel in that old backpack.

“It wasn’t that bad, was it?” 

“Look at me in the eyes and say that again, Little My. My next bath will be in ten years, if not in twenty, in the sea so that I never have to go through this again.”

“Snufkin: The Drama Queen. I thought you said you loved water.”

“Snufkin loves water only when he’s not touching it."

When Snufkin finished his bath, Sniff and Snorkmaiden had already gone home. Little My was staying for the night in Moominhouse because she ‘wouldn’t miss Snufkin in Papa’s clothes for the world’, now the three of them were sitting on Moomin’s bed, with Little My playing with Snufkin's hat and Moomin brushing the mumrik's hair. Why did the Moomins love his hair so much? He wasn't complaining though, it actually felt good. Really good. So good Snufkin was fighting hard against his urge to purr and to curl his tail around Moomin. 

"Done! Your hair is surprisingly easy to comb."

"Thank you, Moomintroll," he took his hat from Little My, ignoring the annoyed 'hey!' and standing up. "I'll be going now."

"Wait, what? You're going to sleep in your tent?!"

"Yes?"

"But Snufkin you're.. flying! What if it happens again in your sleep? What if we can't catch you and you fly all the way up to the moon?"

"That's not happening, Moomin. I'm going to sleep with this old backpack on – which I don't know who the owner is and why it is so heavy."

Moomin was fidgeting in place, mouth a thin line as he obviously tried not to voice his worries.

"A- Alright then," he gave up. "Good night, Snufkin."

"Good night, Moomintroll."

"Good night you two lovey doveys!" Little My yelled into the room before jumping out of it. "I hope both of you fly away to the clouds so I don't have to deal with this gross obvious-crush thing."

Unfortunately or not, both of the boys were already trapped in their own minds, too far to hear the tiny girl. 


	3. Not Soulmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moomin overthinks about something Snorkmaiden told him the night before.  
> (the annoying jerk author is not going to tell you what was it that she said until next chapter)

Snorkmaiden and Moomintroll were meant to be. This wasn't a question, this was a  _ fact _ . 

They had been together for ever since Moomin could remember, she had always been his girlfriend and he had always been her boyfriend. And there was no way their relationship wasn't about love. Moomin was pretty sure he would never treat his friends the same way he treated Snorkmaiden: he and Sniff didn't hold hands while walking, he didn't hug Little My nearly as much as he hugged Snorkmaiden… Though maybe he'd like to do those with Snufkin.

But that was because Snufkin wasn't just a friend, he was his bestest friend! Of course he wanted to hold hands and hug and dance and spend his whole day with Snufkin. Because that was absolutely normal. Those were things best friends did. 

Then why did he also want to kiss his best friend so hard? Why did he want to spend nights sleeping by his side and hold him and protect him with his life? Was that normal between best friends? 

"Hey, Papa?"

"Yes, Moomin?"

"Have you ever had a best friend?"

"Why, of course! I had two best friends when I was your age, we're still very fond of each other," he answered while putting his work aside to spin on his chair and look at his son, who was standing in the doorway.

"Have you.. Have you ever- How- I mean, how was your relationship like? -With them?"

"We were inseparable, always together. When anyone saw me walking around without at least one of them, they'd ask 'what's wrong?', 'what happened?' because it just wasn't normal for us to be apart."

"Oh," he lowered his head. "Thanks, Papa."

"You're welcome? But why did you-"

He left his dad's office and slowly made his way to the kitchen, where Moominmama was still making breakfast. 

"Mama?"

"Yes, dear?"

"How do you feel about Papa?"

"What do you mean?"

"How do you know.. How did you know Papa was the right one? How did you know you were supposed to marry him and not anybody else?"

Moominmama blinked, surprised at the.. somehow deep question.

"I guess I just knew it," she took a very good looking apple pie out of the oven. "I loved your father and I knew that I'd never ever stop loving him. I knew he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and I knew there was no one else in the world who could ever make me feel this way."

When she saw how troubled Moomin looked, Mama left the pie on the table to hold her son's hands.

"I knew there was part of me that just wasn't there whenever he left. I knew he was my soulmate because he was there with me in my dreams and I was there with him in his. And I knew I would never get tired of his presence, ever."

Now that made Moomin frown. 

Papa said best friends were always together. His description of it kind of made Moomin think of Snorkmaiden, Little My and Sniff. They were never apart. But Snufkin wasn't always there with them, Snufkin didn't like to be around people so much even though he did like spending time with them.

If Snufkin wasn't his best friend, then what was him? Moomin thought of what Mama had said.

  * Did Moomin always enjoy Snufkin's presence? 



He had never got tired of it, yes.

  * Did Moomin dream about Snufkin? 



Happened more than once, yes. Maybe too many times, even daydreaming.

  * Did Moomin miss Snufkin way too much whenever he was gone? 



Enough to make him feel sick, yes.

  * Did Moomin want to spend the rest of his life with Snufkin? 



He wouldn't know what to do if the mumrik simply left and never came back, so yes.

  * Did… Did Moomin love Snufkin? 



Did he? Did he love his best friend the way he was supposed to love Snorkmaiden? What if he did?! What if he did love Snufkin?! He wasn't supposed to! He was supposed to love Snorkmaiden. To love her not him. Boys can't love each other because that's simply.. not happening. He had never seen a couple of boys, he had never seen two men married, and he never would because boys can't love each other, it's impossible. Everybody knew that! What would his parents think of it if he loved Snufkin? What would his friends think? What would  _ Snufkin _ –

"IS BREAKFAST READY YET?" Little My burst through the door, which snapped him out of his inner dialogue. "I'M SO HUNGRY I CAN FEEL MY STOMACH EATING ALL MY OTHER ORGANS AND I THINK IT'LL BE EATING MY BRAIN OUT IF I DON'T FEED IT R-"

The moment she saw Moomin curled up, wide eyed and trembling in a chair – a chair? How did he get there? What was going on? – with the most worried Moominmama holding his hands tight, she seemed to realize that was just the worst time to talk about cursed stomachs that eat you from inside out. Moomin could see her eyes shifting from Mama to him and back to Mama again as if she was trying to decide what to say. 

So instead of saying anything she grabbed a cookie and left, closing the door behind her (Little My had just made a mental note to try and find out what left her friend feeling that way later).

That was when Moomin noticed he wasn't only shaking hard, he was also hyperventilating.

He opened his mouth to ask Mama what was happening but then closed it again, not trusting his voice right then.

"Moomin dear, look at me."

He looked. He could do that. But then Mama got blurry and he couldn’t see her. Oh, he was crying.

“Oh my sweet little boy,” she kissed his forehead. “Can you tell me about the books Mymble let you borrow? Your favorite ones?”

Why in the holy Moominvalley was she asking about the books in a time like this? Moomin gasped for air and took a deep breath before roughly cleaning his throat.

“I- I like the- the f- fairy tales more,” oh gosh, his voice was too low and cracking all the time. Mama wouldn’t be able to hear it. But before Moomin could just give up into sobs, his mom nodded for him to continue, and so he did. “Be- Because they’re a m- mix of love stories and adventure a- and magic.”

“What is the one you’ve been reading?”

“A story about a wi- winter spirit. He is invisible to most people so he’s really l- lonely.”

“A winter spirit? What happens to him?”

Why did she even want to know about the book? Wasn’t she going to talk about the fact that Moomin was- what was going on? He didn’t even know and she wouldn’t tell him! He breathed in again.

“The moon choses him to- to fight that bad guy.. At first he doesn’t want to but he’s forced into it when he’s kidnapped by all the other spirits who were counting on him to solve th- the problem.”

“Oh my! Who were the other spirits?”

“I haven’t reached this part of the book yet, I’m still on the first chapter,” he wiped his tears and sniffled. “But I got the feeling he doesn’t like the other spirits much. They left him alone for years and years after all, I wouldn’t like them either in his place.”

Moominmama let go of his hands to bring him a cup of water. He drinked it bit by bit, taking little breaks to breathe. 

“Are you feeling better now, dear?”

“I am, thanks Mama,” he left the now empty cup on the table. He paused, and then looked up. “..What happened?”

“It seems to me you got a little overwhelmed,” she said as she helped Moomin up. “I am not going to ask you what made you feel this way but let me tell you something, my dear: your Papa and I love you a lot. Your friends love you a lot too. Nothing you could ever say or do would change that. Except for maybe murder. Even then, I’m sure we would eventually forgive you.”

Moominmama was a mind reader, wasn’t she? She had to be. Moomin hugged his mother and was squeezed back. 

"Do you really believe in soulmates, Mama?"

"Oh yes, I do. I think all of us have that one special person waiting for us to come."

"Are soulmates ever wrong?"

His mother smiled gently.

"They might be confusing sometimes, they might look like a mistake, they might drive you crazy. But wrong? Never."

She said something about the breakfast being ready and he had barely sat down to eat at the dining room when he looked through the window and saw the weirdest thing ever. There was something flying outside, like a.. A tent? Snufkin’s tent! Moomin went out running.

“SNUFKIN!”

The moment he stepped outside, he was greeted- No, more like slapped with wind. He ran after Snufkin’s tent as fast as he could while the wind wailed loudly, lifting red leaves off the grass and up to Moomin’s face. 

“Stop, wind! Snufkin’s in danger!”

The wind didn’t seem to listen – which shouldn’t have made Moomin so disappointed – and started taking the mumrik's tent with it instead. His tent didn't normally fly away with the wind so Moomin guessed Snufkin was still there, asleep and unaware he was going towards the forest. 

"Oh no! He could hit a tree and get really hurt!"

"Do you normally talk to yourself in a life or death situation?" a voice by his side startled him.

"Little My!"

"Don't worry, I got an idea!"

As they kept running, his friend unraveled a rope and started looking around. 'That should do it!' was all she said before turning to run in another direction. Now Moomin was just confused.

But then the wind got calmer and Snufkin's tent stopped and started to fall, luckily at the slowest pace possible and Moomin was able to reach it.

"Snufkin! Are you awake?" 

"Moomin? Is that you?" he heard from above. 

"Yes, it's me! I'm going to get you down!"

"Thank you. I think I might have taken That Old Backpack™ off in my sleep and ended up taking my whole tent flying with me. Now I kind of look like a tent burrito."

"I told you it was dangerous!" Moomin scolded, climbing up a pine tree and finally getting hold of the flying-mumrik-burrito. "I got you. But how am I going to get you down?"

"Your weight should be enough to lower me safely close to the ground."

Moomin nodded and jumped off the branch he was on to hug the mumrik. As always, Snufkin was right, and both of them flew down.. hugging. Snufkin normally wouldn't let Moomin hug him for that long, or that tight. And even though he was wrapped up and tangled in his own tent and couldn't hug Moomin back, the moomintroll still enjoyed it. Which was not okay. Not a little bit okay. 

"Hey you two! Come over here!" Little My called from a big rock.

"What was your big idea to save Snufkin?" Moomin asked, proud of himself for saving Snufkin on his own. 

He did his best to walk while gripping on the flying burrito. Not because Snufkin was heavy but because he was flying way too high for his feet to touch the ground, Moomin felt like he was walking on the moon. So after a long while, he got to the big rock Little My was sitting on.

She had tied the rock in a weird way, the rope tightly laced around it but loose in the front, like a handle or a strap. Moomin gasped when the realization hit: it  _ was _ a handle. 

"Hold onto that rock!" he quickly unwrapped the mumrik from his tent.

"Very smart, Little My," Snufkin complimented, tying the rope around his hand. "You know, my floating has turned out to be a problem recently."

"Recently?!"

"It's the second time in two following days you run after me because of it. I didn't know it would get worse in my sleep either."

"Don't you tell me you had a wet dream," Little My smirked. "It was about Moomin, wasn't it?"

"If it had been a wet dream, it would've been a nightmare. I don't like baths, even when it's with Moomin, you should know that by now," her brother frowned. "I can't quite remember it but I do think it was about Moomin though."

"...Seriously?! You don't know what a wet dream is? I thought you were wiser."

Silence followed, Snufkin was too busy thinking about what a wet dream could be, while Moomin was staring at him as if he was a ghost. No wait, he liked ghosts. He was staring at Snufkin as if he was a.. giant hattifattener maybe, or just a very small Groke. 

"Is anything the matter, Moomintroll?" 

He didn't hear that because the phrase 'he had a dream about me' kept playing over and over inside his head way louder. Mama had said soulmates dream about each other. But he couldn't be Snufkin's soulmate, could he? Snufkin didn't love him, and he didn't love Snufkin. 

Moomin took a sharp breath in. What if Snufkin did love him? The thought made Moomintroll brighten and darken at the same time. If Snufkin was his soulmate and loved him, then he was wrong too. If they were soulmates, it would hurt Snufkin to see Moomin with Snorkmaiden – the way it was supposed to be. The last thing the moomintroll ever wanted was to be the reason Snufkin was hurting.

"Snufkin, do you like me?" he deadpanned.

The question took the three of them by surprise. Little My made a loud surprised sound, Snufkin flustered red and Moomin winced at the grim tone his voice came out with.

"I– Of course, Moomin. Who wouldn't?"

"Do you love me?"

"...I suppose so."

"The way Mama loves Papa?"

Snufkin bit his lip instead of answering. 

"Well, I don't love you."

Saying this left a sour taste in his tongue. He wasn't lying if he didn't know the truth but that sure did feel like a lie. So he decided it was best to tell only half-lies.

"I don't like you the tiniest bit," Moomin continued, looking away from both of his friends. "I hate you actually. So much I can't concentrate on anything when you're near me. So much every time you're in my dreams it turns into a nightmare. 

You don't know how many times I saw you parting to travel South and thought 'how would it be if he didn't come back this time?' but then when I wake up from my hibernation, there you are for some reason. And I- I sometimes can't stand the sound of your voice. Or your songs. Or your existence in general because I–"

The loud thump of Snufkin's feet hitting the ground cut him off. Snufkin had stopped floating. His expression remained emotionless as he untied his hand from the now useless rope and took his tent back from the moomin. 

I've done that for Snufkin, he had to remind himself. Moomin couldn't let Snufkin keep loving him because he couldn't love Snufkin back.. He loved Snorkmaiden. It still felt like the worst decision ever. 

"Very well then. I'll travel South a little earlier this year and I might never come back, just like you want me to," the mumrik simply walked away.

Moomin couldn't tell if that was the result he wanted or not. If Snufkin really did leave forever, everything would go back to place, everything would be just the way it should be. He could love Snorkmaiden and never doubt it again. 

But.. No. No, that was definitely not what he wanted. That was the last thing he wanted. The moment Moomin realized what he'd done, something definitely broke inside his chest, he felt it while watching Snufkin turn his back to him. 

"GREAT! PLEASE DO!" his mouth betrayed him and his tears betrayed his mouth. 

It was too late anyways. So he walked away too, back to Moominhouse. Behind him there was a very confused and shocked Little My who he had completely forgotten. 

"Moomin!" she ran to keep up with her friend. "What the hell is wrong with you, you big smelly-mushroom?!"

"I don't know, I don't care, and I don't want to think about it right now."

"I know: you lied! Is that what you were panicking about earlier? You wanted to lie to my brother's oblivious face?"

"Are you just going to call me a liar and tell me I just did the most stupid thing ever?! Because I already fucking know that!" he stomped. Little My stepped back.

She glared at him before turning and running after her brother. Awesome. Snufkin left, Little My left, even the wind left at this point. Moomin had never felt so alone but maybe he did need that. Maybe he could hibernate earlier too and hope to never wake up. 

He just- He just didn’t get it! He did everything right: he made Snufkin leave so he could be happy together with Snorkmaiden. What in the world was making him so upset? He was protecting his friend, himself and his girlfriend by doing that! 

Snufkin didn’t love Moomin anymore, that was the right thing he did.

Snorkmaiden still loved Moomin, that was the right thing he did.

And Moomin wasn’t sure if any of those ‘right things’ he did were _right_ at all.


	4. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snorkmaiden also overthinks about what she told Moomin the night before.
> 
> Little My throws toilet water at Snufkin's clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out the fourth chapter DIDN'T take too long to be posted. Oh lucky you

“WAIT FOR ME, YOU BIG MUMPSIMUS!” Little My panted hard as she finally got to her brother. “Where are you going?!”

“I’m setting my tent at the beach.”

“Huh? But you said you were going to leave Moominvalley forever!”

Snufkin took a deep breath and looked around, not bothering to answer Little My just yet. He seemed to find what he wanted and quickly climbed up a short hill at the beach, where he plopped his two backpacks down and started putting up his tent. He waited until she was about to hit him with a stick to eventually talk.

“I am not leaving Moominvalley until I have my clothes back. I'm okay with this sweater but I can’t travel with those ginormous pants,” he closed his eyes, inhaling the salty wind that was blowing his hair off his face. “Besides, I’ve always wanted to sleep a night by the sea.”

“Couldn’t you just admit you don’t want to leave?”

“I’m not wanted here.”

“Admit it.”

“I have no reason to stay in Moominvalley.”

“Admit it!”

“I don’t have to stay, I’m free to go wherever I want.”

“ADMIT IT, DAMN IT!”

Snufkin sighed in defeat. 

“I really, really don’t want to leave. But I have no option, Little My.”

“Since when did you start listening to people? You wouldn’t even do whatever mom told you to! I thought you were a ‘free soul’ or something.” 

“I thought I was too. You see, Moomin is out of the ordinary. He did something to me that nobody has ever done before, be it sorcery or mind-control, I keep coming back to see him whenever I leave. It took me a while to realize I..” he made some sort of gagging sound as he tried to carefully choose his words to avoid hurting – not Little My, she wasn’t the one Snufkin had been walking on eggshells around all day – himself. 

“It took you a while to realize you were tied down, by the most powerful dark magic in the world: sexual desire- Oh, sorry, I meant Love.”

There they were. Those two cursed, disgraceful words Snufkin had been trying not to say: ‘tied down’. He had already moved on.. Kind of. Thinking of how he couldn’t stand more than four months apart from Moomintroll still made him shiver, that’s why he simply  _ stopped _ thinking about it, at least not that way. He had tried to convince himself that it was the beauty of Moominvalley seasons changing, or that it was the only peaceful and safe place he ever found for his tent, or that it was because they were all kind and lovely people to be around. But the more he tried to focus on the tip of the iceberg, the more he found himself choking on the whole truth: he had fallen in love. Helplessly and miserably in love.

When he found out, he obviously panicked. You guys know how Snufkin can be sometimes. That was the year he left for the winter and came back in the summer, he had tried to push himself out of this, to  _ get back up _ after falling in love. That only resulted in him desperately running back to Moominvalley to get there and give his also desperate moomin friend the biggest hug – and then faint of exhaustion.

(So maybe that was why Moomin was always so concerned about him when it was time for leaving. Because Snufkin  _ could and would _ be stupid enough to arrive late and almost freaking dying again)

"I wouldn't call it 'tied down'. I let my guard down for him, that's one thing. But I kept coming every year because I wanted to and not because he forced me to."

"Now you're blaming yourself for falling in love?"

"Yes, I am. It cannot be his fault because Moomin is not in love with me. Snorkmaiden got to him first."

"Because he's not in love with-" Little My facepalmed. "Let me see if I got this straight (or gay): first you blame Moomin for tying you down, but then you blame yourself for falling in love, and now you're blaming Snorkmaiden for- What, for your failure of a love life?"

"I am not blaming Snorkmaiden and Moomin for anything," he raised his voice the Snufkin style – which meant he didn't raise his voice at all but said each word pointedly instead. Way more intimidating, Little My thought. "What I mean is, if I leave, I'll overthink all of this and-"

"Get yourself sick or hurt and come back anyways for help like in other fanfics?"

"Indeed. Even if Moomin hates me and loves Snorkmaiden. But if I stay I might lose all the last bits of my free soul and-"

"Turn invisible like in other fanfics."

Snufkin nodded and sunk to the sand in the entrance of his tent, which he had just finished setting up. Little My sat down by his side, trying to think of a solution herself.

"You said you can't leave without your clothes, right?"

He nodded again and she jumped to her feet.

"Then we have some time to sort things out."

"We?"

"I'll help your dumb ass because I'm not that much of a horrible big sister now am I?!" she turned to leave but she stopped at her second step. "I just can't believe your best friend would ever suddenly hate you. That dork does nothing but miss you whenever you're gone and I swear his eyes spark when he's talking to you. Like, c'mon, his hobby is to think about you! I don't know what got into him to say all of those things back there but I'll find it out and kick his ass for it."

“Please don’t kick Moomin.”

“He more than deserves it, Snufkin.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Snorkmaiden was always trying her best to be perfect. To be a perfect sister for her big brother, to be a perfect friend for Little My, Sniff and Snufkin, to be a perfect girlfriend for Moomin and, lastly, to be a perfect snork for herself. If her Snorkmamma and Snorkpappa were still there, she would try to be a perfect daughter for them, too.

She supposed it was working out just fine, there was never a day she didn’t feel loved. 

Until just a couple weeks ago.

She noticed it the moment it started: Moomin, her boyfriend, the one being in the whole world that should love her the most, suddenly didn’t love her anymore. He’d hold her hand, say he loved her, give her flowers and little presents while thinking of something else. Or was it  _ somebody _ else? When that thought crossed her mind, her new secret mission began. A secret mission to discover who was stealing her boyfriend’s attention from her and show whoever that girl was that she was the one who owned Moomin.

She took some time to find out who it was, and she had tried to fix it.

  
  
  


"Well, those are great news. If it is really just fairy dust then a quick bath shall solve it all," Moominmamma had said.

Snorkmaiden fought hard not to laugh as she watched Snufkin instantly still, claws coming out and tail bristling. She wasn’t surprised when he jumped to the roof and ran away into the house. She was surprised when Moomin ran in front of her when they had to split though.

“Moomin?” she had called.

“I know how to catch him! Go outside you, I’ve got a plan!” was all she got as an answer.

She went outside with Sniff and both shrugged to each other. In seconds Snufkin had jumped out a window and was falling straight to Snorkmaiden and Sniff’s trap. She saw it when Moomin opened his window too, and when Snufkin started flying higher instead of falling. He floated right into Moomin’s open arms, who pulled the mumrik inside.

“How did he know that was going to work?” Snorkmaiden gasped.

“Moomin knows Snufkin far too well!” her friend rushed inside. She followed after him, not really giving it much thought.

They had to drag their floating friend to the bathroom, which was the most difficult thing ever because he wouldn’t stop kicking and hissing, and he easily slipped from anybody’s grasp as if he was liquid… Like a cat, she thought. The thing was, while everyone was trying hard to hold onto Snufkin and not get scratched by those dangerous claws, Moomin was giggling. He just didn’t have any claws to duck from because Snufkin didn’t charge at him  _ once _ . 

And then, when they finally got Snufkin in the bathtub, Moomin was so excited about helping. He got the heaviest jam jars from Moominmamma’s kitchen for Snufkin, he chose the most suitable clothes around the house for Snufkin, and he even lent his own towel for Snufkin! If Mama hadn’t shooed everybody from the bathroom, Moomin would sure have stayed in there!

Not that there was anything wrong about it, no. Moomin wanted to help, that was normal. 

What had caught Snorkmaiden’s attention though, was that expression Moomin had on his face. That glimmer in his eyes, that was only visible when he was around Snufkin. Or talking to Snufkin. Or talking  _ about _ Snufkin.  _ Thinking _ about Snufkin. That glimmer was in there whenever Moomin would zone out during a conversation, it was in there every morning when he woke up and went to see Snufkin. It was in his eyes for Snufkin and not for her.

Why was Moomin always so happy when Snufkin was mentioned?

Why did Snufkin brighten a little whenever Moomin was mentioned too?

Why had Snorkmaiden taken so long to notice it and  _ why didn’t Moomin’s eyes shine for her too _ ?

Oh, she had gotten so mad about that terrible unfair unrighteousness. So mad the second she was alone with her boyfriend, she spilled it out.

“Moomin, am I the one you love?”

“Why yes, of course, Snorkmaiden.”

“You mean I’m the only one you ever think of kissing?”

“Now, to be honest, I sometimes think of kissing that Nymph I saw once. B- But that’s all.. Are you jealous of someone again?”

“I’m not! It’s just- We’re a little too friend-like, don’t you think?”

“Friend-like? But that’s how we should be, right?”

What in the Moominvalley, for the name of Tove, did he freaking _ mean  _ by that? Did Moomin seriously think lovers and friends were the same thing?

“There’s a big difference, you know!” she snapped. “Lovers kiss, and share beds, and protect each other, and then at some point they do the adult things! Friends do none of that!"

"The adult things?" Moomin asked, genuinely confused. He wondered if she meant marriage or house building.

But she only groaned in irritation and stomped away. She didn't care he called after her, she just yelled 'I'm going home' so that Moominmamma didn't make a cup too much of tea.

  
  
  


Well, she did find out who the attention-thief was, and she hopefully fixed it. 

However, she hardly cared about Moomin’s love for Snufkin, she wasn’t all that angry anymore. That morning, she actually felt a bit sad, worries about last night suddenly turning into something else as she stared at the mirror. 

She was perfect, wasn't she? She was so kind and caring, and playful and loving, and she was so pretty! What was it that Snufkin had that she didn't have? Was there something that needed to change? Was it her personality? Did Moomin think she was boring? Did Moomin think she wasn't as beautiful as Snufkin?

Snorkmaiden got to the conclusion she just had to look and act a bit better than she was before. So she grabbed all of her prettiest accessories and covered herself in them. Yes, now she looked splendid! The only thing missing was her boring blond hair and white fur, they were still the same. Her smile fell.

She quickly left her room and went downstairs to her brother’s lab. It smelled like coffee all over the house so she assumed Snork was at the kitchen making breakfast, so she opened the door as quietly as she could and got inside the room. 

“Snorkmaiden?”

Said snork squeaked in surprise to find her brother was actually inside the lab.

“What are you doing in my lab?” he scanned his sister’s new look. “You look like you’re going to a fancy party today.”

“I was- I was hoping you’d have something for my hair and my fur, to make it softer and shinier.”

“Oh, self-care day?” he smiled, looking for something that could be used as a hair cream.

But he stopped when he noticed she was quiet, and turned to look at his little sister. Her head was low and she seemed distant, fidgeting with her pearl necklace. 

“This is not a self-care day, is it?” he frowned. “What are you dressed in all of this for?”

“I’m trying to look less.. boring.." she muttered in shame.

"You’re not boring. What made you think this way?"

"I think Moomin is tired of me because I’m not interesting or pretty enough.. I thought I could make myself beautiful for him again."

As her eyes started watering, her brother gently took all of her elegants necklaces and bracelets and placed them on his desk.

“You won’t be able to play with your friends with all of those heavy fineries,” he brushed her hair bangs with his finger. “And as a scientist and professional engineer, if I say you look beautiful just the way you are then it is scientifically comproved.”

“B- But then why did Moomin stop loving me?”

“Has he said that?”

“..No.”

“Have you two broken up?”

“No.”

“Has he stopped hanging with you? Has he started being mean to you?”

“N- No, he hasn’t.”

“Then you don’t know if he has really stopped loving you. I don’t know a thing about love but I know Moomin and if he's been acting weird it's because there's something troubling him."

"You think he's just too worried about something to love me?" she blinked. "Oh no! I yelled at him instead of asking what was wrong!"

"Maybe you should go talk to him. When he's feeling better, he'll love you again the way you want, I'm sure of it."

"You're right!" she hugged Snork and then left the room. "Thank you, my dear brother! I'm going to Moominhouse right now to talk to him!"

How could she have been so blind? Of course Moomin didn't stop loving her, that was logically impossible! He was just upset about something. All she needed to do to actually fix the lack of attention she got was to comfort Moomin and distract him from his problem. Maybe he'd be up for mushroom or flower picking. Ah! They could make shell necklaces together! There, that was perfect. 

Snorkmaiden hummed and smiled all the way up to Moominhouse. When she lifted her hand to knock on the door, it was brutally opened, banging on the wall.

"Little My?" she guessed, and guessed right. Said mymble was holding a jar of water and a scowl to her face. "Where are you taking all of this water?"

"First, it's none of your business. Second, it's not just 'water'. It's from the toilet, and I probably peed on it."

What the  _ hell _ . 

"Gross! Why would you need toilet water?!"

"You'll see," the redhead said before carefully approaching Snufkin's hanged coat and pants and spilling the stinky water all over them. 

"LITTLE MY!" Snorkmaiden gasped. "Whatever has gotten into you!?"

"You'll thank me later, darling."

And with that, she went back inside as if she'd done nothing wrong. Snorkmaiden had seen Little My do many weird things, but that wasn't just weird, that was wicked. She wondered what could ever have made Little My mad at Snufkin.


	5. Autumn, Winter And Spring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moomin has a bad idea.
> 
> Snorkmaiden doesn't understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I drew Moomin on his tray-windboat thing, if it's not loading you can ask me for the link.

Snorkmaiden was expecting to find everyone at the table and even a plate for herself – Moominmamma always knew it when she’d come to eat in their house. 

The first thing she noticed was that Snufkin wasn’t there. His clothes were just outside (he couldn’t be walking around naked) and his tent was missing, not to mention the fact he was probably still floating (how would he make his own breakfast if he couldn’t reach it?) so she figured he would be eating with the Moomins that morning. If he wasn’t there, where was he?

Then she noticed there wasn’t one plate for her but two, as if they were expecting someone else to eat with them. She looked around the dining room, searching for any guests, but they were alone.

“Good morning, Snorkmaiden,” Moominmamma greeted. “If you’re looking for Moomin, he’s upstairs.”

Oh, right! The extra plate was for Moomintroll, who had been out of her sight. Which was quite strange. She could see pie and cookies on the table, Moomin  _ never _ skipped pie and cookies. 

“Is he sick?” Snorkmaiden wondered out loud.

“I don’t know, dear. He went to help Snufkin outside and when he came back he rushed to his room. I was just about to go see him.”

“That’s not very like him.. I could do that task for you, Mama, I really need to talk to him after all.”

“Aw, thank you dear. Could you take him this?” she handed Snorkmaiden a tray with a single piece of apple pie and a cup of juice in it. “He hasn’t eaten anything today, he must be starving. Oh! If anything happens, just ask him about the books he’s been reading.”

Snorkmaiden nodded, even though she had no idea what Mama meant, and took the breakfast tray with her upstairs. She hoped all of this fuss wasn’t because she yelled at her boyfriend the other night. She had yelled at him lots of times before and he always seemed to get over it by morning, and so did she, but she still worried.

“Moomin!” she knocked on his door with her free hand. “I’m coming in!”

She got no answer from the other side so she went in and closed the door behind her. The moomin was curled up on the side of his bed, head hidden between his knees and back jumping with sobs now and then.  _ Sobs _ ? He was crying! 

“Oh no.. Moomintroll, what happened?” Snorkmaiden left the breakfast tray on Moomin’s desk before hurrying and sitting next to him on the floor. 

When she hugged him, he finally looked up, as if he hadn’t heard her coming before.

“Snorkmaiden? What are you doing up here?” he sniffled. It took Moomin two seconds to realize he was crying in front of her and promptly broke the hug to wipe at his now red face, “O- Oh gosh- I’m sorry- I just-”

He trailed off and Snorkmaiden remembered what Moominmamma had said. If anything happened, she was supposed to ask Moomin about the books he had been reading. He was crying, so it was definitely something.

“What’s the last book you read, Moomin? Would you tell me about it?” she held his hand.

He suddenly got the most outraged and confused look on his face. Why did people ask him about his books whenever they saw him crying? Had somebody written it on his forehead or something? Was it like a rule now, was he supposed to do the same for others when they were upset? But then he glanced over at his bookshelf and had an idea. He could recover this.

"I- I'm crying because of it, actually. How did you know?"

"Really? I just guessed. It must be a really sad book!"

"It is. Do you want to hear what it's about?"

She hummed a 'yes' and Moomin thought for a bit.

"There's this character, the protagonist, he's a winter spirit. And he.. he and the autumn spirit were engaged. They were always together after all, Autumn and Winter. They were meant to love each other," he narrated, looking at the way his and Snorkmaiden's fingers were entwined together. "But one day, Winter met the spring spirit. And he had never seen such anything so vibrant and colorful… So Winter fell in love with Spring, in a way he had never felt for Autumn."

"Oh no!" Snorkmaiden gasped. "But what about Autumn? Isn't she going to be sad?"

"Winter thought so too, that's why he didn't tell her. He still loved her, even if it wasn't the same way Mama loves Papa, so he didn't want her to hurt. He didn't know what to do," he grit his teeth. "He told Spring to go away, and Spring did as he said.."

"He  _ what _ ? But the world needs spring! Without Spring, flowers won't sprout and animals won't have their cubs!"

"I know.. T- That's exactly- The book is so sad I couldn't finish it. I want all of the characters to have a happy ending." 

"Well, I think Winter shouldn't have sent Spring away. That's the first thing he should fix."

"Why the first thing?" he perked up.

"So that it won't be too late! If he told Autumn he loved Spring but Spring was already gone, it wouldn't really be worth it, would it?"

Moomin gaped, staring wide eyed at the floor before suddenly pushing himself to his feet.

"I REALLY, REALLY WISH I WASN'T SO STUPID," he growled, hands covering his face. "I have to do something. I have to do something right now."

"Something? What are you going to do? What's going on?" she stood up.

"I don't have time to explain, but tell Little My to get the rope!"

"The rope? I don't get it!"

"That's why I need Little My!"

He frantically looked around his room, eyes darting all over the place until they landed on the breakfast tray. Moomin practically launched himself to it and put the pie and the juice aside, running over to his bed to grab his blanket and tie it to the tray. What was wrong with everyone today?! Snorkmaiden had no idea what she missed during the night. If it was keeping Moomin from eating a delicious apple pie, then it had to be something serious.

"You didn't even eat! Where are you going?!"

"Go tell Little My to get the rope!" he opened his window and jumped out of it with the blanket and the tray which it was tied to. "It's an emergency!"

She shook her head to try and clear it as she gave him the sloppiest nod and ran out the door.

Now Moomin was by himself, on the Moominhouse's roof, with what looked like a terrible idea and a desperate expression. It would be hard to make his plan work. 

Because he needed to have happy thoughts. Lots of it.

He took a deep breath and forced his eyes shut. 

_ Happy thoughts _ .

He thought of his loving family and his dear friends. He recalled the happiest moments they've had with them, some made him open a small smile. But he still wasn't flying.

Not memories then. 

_ Happy thoughts _ ..

He licked his lips as he pictured a seven layered banana and oat cake and a big pumpkin pie. Or maybe cherry pie- Oh, how awesome would it be to live in a flying ship! Maybe then he could have a dragon who'd fly with him everywhere. Moomin's smile widened as he imagined being able to touch the clouds every morning and to watch the stars every night. But he still wasn't flying.

Not material wishes.

_ Happy thoughts _ …

It would be amazing to have magic powers, he thought. He could turn into a giant snake so he could scare bad guys away, or in a tiger so he could run really fast, or even in a small fish so he could breathe underwater. He raised his eyebrows as he told himself life would be much easier if he could move objects with his mind, too. But he still wasn't flying.

Oh, c'mon!

What kind of  _ happy thoughts _ were those Snufkin was always happy-thinking about?!

  
  
  


"Little My! Little My!" Snorkmaiden called as she slid into the dining room. "You have to go get the rope! It's an emergency, Moomin said!"

"What?" the little mymble finished her 20th pancake. "What rope? What is that idiot doing?"

"I have no idea! I asked about the book he has been reading, just like Mama told me to, but he went crazy when I tried to comfort him! He is on the roof now!"

"He's on the– GIRL, WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM?" Little My jumped off her chair. "ISN'T IT THE SECOND TIME YOU LEAD SOMEONE TO JUMP OFF A PLACE WAY TOO HIGH?"

"Hey! When Snork wanted to jump off a cliff it wasn't my fault at all!"

The two of the girls ran outside and sighed in relief when they saw Moomin was still on the roof.

"OI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU BIG HIPPOPONEY?" the redhead yelled.

That seemingly startled the moomin, who lost foot and almost fell down. He glared at Little My for a second before going back to his agitated state.

"I'm going to go look for Snufkin! Flying!"

"Flying down to hit your head and die? Doesn't seem like an efficient way to do so."

"I just have to find happy thoughts, like he did to fly! I've tried thinking of everything but nothing works!"

"Maybe it's just a mumrik thing?" Snorkmaiden suggested. "Though that wouldn’t really make sense."

"Are you SURE you have thought about EVERYTHING that makes you happy?" 

"That's what I said, Little My, I thought of everyth–" he cut himself off by gasping. "THERE'S STILL SOMETHING I COULD TRY!"

"Wise-oh me," the mymble smiled proudly. "Come, Snorkmaiden, I left the rope in a rock somewhere. I don't need help but I might want it."

Snorkmaiden was still very, very confused, but she followed her friend into the forest after saying goodbye to Moomin. He was alone once again.

He blinked his eyes closed to concentrate on the sound of the river that crossed Moominvalley. 

How many times had he and Snufkin fished on that river? He wished Snufkin never ever left so they could fish on that same river for the rest of the years yet to come. Not just fish, he wished they could sit and watch the water flow while talking and eventually taking a nap together on the grass.

He concentrated on the strong wind and the music it made on the dancing leaves of the trees. 

The mumrik loved that sound, he once told him, it reminded him of the rain. He wished Snufkin never ever left so they could hear that sound over and over again on their trips. Just the two of them, the wind, the forest and an adventure just around the corner. He wished they could do that every year before Snufkin went on his trip South.

But then he couldn't stop his mind from concentrating on the awful guilt he felt.

He wished he could go back in time to fix everything. He wished he hadn't said any of those hateful words, not to his best friend. He wished Snufkin never ever left because he had Moomin's heart with him, and living without your heart can't be very nice.

That was it! Moomin felt himself growing lighter and lighter, feet leaving the roof and floating inches above it. 

In a world people could fly like this, boys should be able to love boys, and he should be allowed to love Snufkin, Moomin supposed. If he didn't have to keep his feet on the ground, he didn't have to stay with Snorkmaiden either.

He sat on the tray and held the blanket in one hand. When the wind hit hard, he jumped. 

The moomin was nestled in wind gusts and he had to hold the blanket as tight as possible since it was working as a very small sail. Luckily, the wind was going consistent, as if it had suddenly made up with Moomin from their earlier fight. 

"Thank you, wind," he whispered.

"MOOMIN!" he heard Little My's voice from below. "CATCH IT!"

He looked just in time to catch the rope she had thrown at him. 

"THANK YOU!" he shouted back. 

Little My was the fastest creature in Moominvalley, so there was nobody better for the emergency anchor job. He didn't have time to check for Snorkmaiden, who was nowhere to be seen, as the wind took him away to fly above the beautiful forest carpet. 

For once in his life, he was glad it wasn't spring yet. It would be easy to look for Snufkin that way: his green hat would give his location away between red and orange leaves. The mumrik couldn't be far anyway, Moomin hummed, he had left less than an hour ago. 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Ah, there it was! Finally! Moominmamma took the book from the old box.  _ ‘The Big Book Of People Who Fly – Why The Hell Do They Do That’  _ by Moomingrandma. Mama giggled, Grandma had a brilliant sense of humor and was so wise at the same time. 

She flipped through the pages as she made her way out of the basement and back to the living room, sitting down on the sofa. 

“ _ ‘Flowers that smell so good you levitate by smelling them’ _ ? No..  _ ‘Invisible creatures that keep carrying you around and making people think you can fly’ _ ? Oh, no, I don’t think so.  _ ‘Fairies have parties on your roof while you sleep’ _ ? Not fairy dust,” Mama kept skimming over the chapters until her eyes caught a relevant word. " _ ‘Gravity seems to be mad at you when you make wishes’ _ .. Snufkin said he floated when he made happy wishes. Maybe this is the one."

‘When one wishes badly for their reality to change, their body might have this crazy coping mechanism of taking them away from the reality they are so sour about,’ she read silently. Moominmamma's eyebrows creased in worry. Snufkin was the exact type of individual who would never wish for things to change, he had told her himself the other day. What was it that he wanted to change so badly?

‘But it is not any kind of wishes that make people fly, or else we would all be living on clouds by now: it's the hopeless desire for love from someone you know might never love you back.’

Now that made more sense. It wasn't any less worrying, but a part of her felt relieved. How dare a book scare her for her dearest mumrik kid this way? She skipped a page.

‘There are two obvious solutions that don't require making a potion, which are quite simple: hearing either "I love you" or "I hate you" from their beloved one. Those are the only words that can ground a floating person like that.’

The following paragraph contained a potion recipe for situations where such words were not possible to be spoken. Would she need that?

Before she could contemplate the question a lot, she heard a knock on the front door.

"Come in!" she opened it. 

It was Snorkmaiden, but she didn't look very happy. She had Snufkin's clothes in a basket, which smelled worse than Stinky and were still wet for some reason.

"I noticed Snufkin's clothes needed to be washed again, so I'm here to help," the young snork muttered, eyes wet as she took the basket to the sink in the kitchen.

(I noticed she is way more sensitive in the 90s Moomins than in the 2019 Moomins. I tried to mix both but she still came out as a crybaby. Forgive me.)

Moominmama quietly followed, even though she would normally wash clothes outside and not in the kitchen. She brought the soap, the one Snufkin liked the most, and started washing his pants while Snorkmaiden washed his coat. After a minute, the blonde girl had to take a break because of her way-too-shaky hands to properly sob and sit down on the chair Moomin had needed to sit on this morning.

"Snorkmaiden dear, do you want some water?"

She shook her head but Mama gave her a cup of water anyway. 

"I must admit, it's not like you to cry in silence. What's bothering you, my dear?"

"M- Moomin is. I'm sorry- Moomin doesn't love me anymore, o- or he never really did love me," she said between sniffles. "Little My and I talked and sh- she made me realize, Moomin is Winter."

"What do you mean? I thought Moomin hated winter."

"He is Winter, and I'm Autumn, a- and that makes Snufkin the Spring.. It all clicked in my head just now, and I wish I wasn't so stupid!"

Moominmamma had absolutely no idea what Snorkmaiden was trying to say but she hugged the crying girl and caressed her back. 

"You're not stupid, don't you dare say such thing about yourself. Self-hatred isn't allowed inside my house," Mama handed Snorkmaiden a paper tissue for her to wipe her tears and blow her nose, even though she hadn't stopped crying yet. "Now, what is all of that about winter and autumn and spring?"

The blonde snork bit her lip and started slowly, "Th- That means, Moomin loves Snufkin. For a while, I suppose. And he never loved- He doesn't love me. I don't know what I did wrong because I don't know what Snufkin does right. I- I don't understand, and that hurts, Mama," she whimpered as she hugged herself, " _ I don't understand why Snufkin is so much better than me _ ."

Oh, young love and the terrible trouble it carries with it. Moominmamma sighed, taking the girl's hands in her own like she did with her son. 

"Snufkin is not better than you, dear."

"Y- Yes, he is! Moomin loves him better than he loves me-"

"I love Moominpappa a lot, but I love Moomintroll and all of you kids just as much. I'm not married to all of you, do you know why?"

"Because it doesn't feel right to marry your own son? Or to marry kids? But also because it's different! It's not the same kind of love."

"Exactly: it's not the same kind of love. I'm sure Moomin loves you, Snufkin and bananas all equally in amount. There's no one better or worse, just different."

Snorkmaiden pinched her snout at being compared to bananas.

"..We were dating before all of it, ever since we were small children. Why did he love me then, but now loves Snufkin..? Did our kind of love change?"

"I think you'll see as time passes by, the difference between his love for you and his love for Snufkin, and his love for bananas too. For now, I just want you to know, Moomin doesn’t love you any less. If he hurt you by loving Snufkin, you have all the right to be upset or mad at both of them, but not to feel like you are any less than Snufkin, because you’re not.”

After three or four minutes of crying and hugging, she finally calmed down and stood up. 

“I.. I think I understand now, thank you, Mama. But what do I do?”

“You’ll do what you feel is the right thing to do. Meanwhile, you could help me hang this coat and make a potion, what do you think?”

“A potion? What for?”

“Hopefully for nothing, my dear,” she peered at Grandma’s book, which had been forgotten on the sofa but was now open in the potion recipe page, laying on the kitchen’s table. “Hopefully for nothing.”


	6. The Truth Told

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moomin's search for Snufkin doesn't go as predicted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning to post this chapter in two days, but you're all just so freaking sweet I thought you deserved this one two days earlier.  
> Also, the REAL COVER ART is here in this link: https://pin.it/4Lttxqy

Moomin had started to feel a little nervous.

He couldn't see Snufkin anywhere, even while flying over the whole valley. He thought it would be easier to find him like that, but now he was just frustrated, and it was getting harder and harder to stop happy thoughts from coming.

He wanted to see his best friend. He wanted to tell him it was all a dumb mistake. However, some dark and very annoying part of Moomin kept telling him Snufkin didn't want to go back, didn't want to see the moomintroll ever again because of that 'dumb mistake'. So he wished with his whole heart, to the moon and to the universe, for his dark part to be wrong. 

That's what led him to flying alongside the birds, way higher than he should be, with Little My dangling on the rope. He told her to get the rope so they could both avoid something  _ exactly like this _ , but there they were. 

“I REALLY WANT TO SEE MY MYMBLE MAMA AGAIN, AND ALL OF MY 60 BROTHERS AND SISTERS BEFORE I DIE! MAYBE EVEN MY DAD! ALL OF MY DADS!” she screamed, holding on to the rope for her life. “I JUST- I DON’T WANT TO DIE! MOOMIN, YOU IDIOT, WHAT WERE YOU EVEN THINKING?!”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE TIED THE ROPE TO SOMETHING, LITTLE MY! DON’T BLAME IT ON ME!”

“WELL, I DID TRY TO TIE IT TO BRANCH! BUT IT BROKE! YOU’RE PRETTY HEAVY, YOU KNOW? Like, anti-heavy, heavy but against gravity or whatever. DAMN IT, JUST DON’T LET ME DIE!’”

He couldn’t help flying higher, he wanted to tell her. The more he panicked, the more his mind made wishes up, he lost control of it the moment it started. 

But when he saw the truly terrified look on the little mymble’s face, he had to force himself out of it. His lungs had to take some oxygen in, his heart had to slow down, and his brain had to think of a solution that didn’t involve any more wishes. 

If he let go of the tray and the blanket, he would stop flying away from the valley, but he also wouldn’t get down, and spending the rest of his life floating in the sky was definitely not an option, not with Little My there with him, for goodness’ sake. Maybe if they kept screaming until sundown, the Witch would hear it and come to kidnap them. Being kidnapped and turned into frogs did sound nice right then, as long as they were safe on the ground… Mama and Papa wouldn’t be very happy about it though.

Moomin chewed on his lip as he looked around for someone sent from heaven who could help, Little My still screaming. He remarked the wind taking them dangerously close to a mountain, and he couldn’t decide whether those were good or bad news, but–

Wait, who was that?

His whole face lit up as he recognized the green hat: Snufkin hadn’t left the valley! 

“SNUFKIN!” he called. The mumrik seemed to be asleep, hat covering his face like he usually does during his naps. Moomin had to be louder. “SNUFKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNN!! WAKE UP!  _ PLEASE _ !”

His sleeping form seemed to jolt up. It didn’t take long for Snufkin to spot the floating moomintroll and mymble, and he yelled something Moomin couldn’t quite catch. He looked concerned at least. It would be a lie to say Moomin didn’t worry Snufkin would just leave him to fly away, because he probably hated him now.

The wind didn't agree to quiet down just yet and started taking Moomin up the mountain. But, like his sister, Snufkin could be incredibly fast if he ran on his four paws, dodging whatever obstacles he found on his way to reach the end of the rope. 

Of course the first thing he did when he met the rope was to quickly tie it to a strong tree, making his two friends yelp at the sudden and violent stop. Once she made sure it was safe, Little My literally threw herself in her brother's arms, clutching his oversized borrowed sweater – there was no telling when she was going to let go of it now. Snufkin patted her back, holding the small girl protectively in one arm – there was no telling when  _ he _ was going to let go of her either – before looking up to his friend. His floating friend. 

He had so many questions.

But  _ he was afraid of talking _ . 

His words weren't welcome for the moomin, he knew. If he opened his mouth, Moomin would hate it. The logical way to solve the problem was to simply go away, to leave the moomin alone, but why was he flying? Most importantly, how did Moomin manage to fly higher than the mountains? That would require the happiest thoughts and biggest wishes of all.

His conflicted and uncertain look met Moomin’s distressed and anxious one, and there they stood for a minute, just staring, not moving an inch. He forgot to plan what he was going to say, Moomin realized a bit too late. 

“I thought you were at the beach?” Little My broke the tense air, still buried in the hug. “What are you doing up here?”

Before Snufkin could even turn to look at her, Moomin’s face twisted.

“At the beach? You knew he was still here! Little My, I thought he had left forever!”

“If you hadn’t jumped off the roof before I finished my breakfast, I would have told you,” she spat back.

“WE ALMOST DIED, LITTLE MY!”

“YOU’RE BLAMING YOUR LIFE DECISIONS ON ME AGAIN?”

“BECAUSE YOU LITTLE SH–”

“DON’T YOU FUC–”

“Moomin, Little My,” Snufkin cut their bickering off, finally daring to speak. “It would be lovely if somebody could tell me why I had to wake up from my very delightful nap to run up this hill and get Papa’s clothes dirty.”

Both of the rescued friends spluttered in shame, bad words trailing off as they decided who should get scolded at first. Obviously, that should be Moomin. 

So the moomintroll tried to recapture his thoughts. 

The mountain they were on, he found it familiar. It wasn’t only the pine trees and the chilly breeze, but also the flowers all over it, making indeed a comfy and nicely fragranced bed, perfect for a mumrik nap. He had been in there with Snorkmaiden not too long ago, the day before all of this mess started. It had been a peaceful moment in a peaceful place, with the one he thought had his heart. Oh, he sure wished for things to just go back to normal, to when he didn’t have to worry about what love really is. He felt himself growing even anti-heavier (that was the word Little My had used, right?) and scrambled for the rope with both of his hands, which caused the tray-windboat thing to fall. No wishes! Focus, Moomin!

“I- I’m sorry,” he squeezed out.

The siblings looked up at him expectantly, though the young mymble appeared to be a lot more disappointed with his short speech. 

“For being a dumbass mushroom-head?” Little My questioned.

“..For being an authentic dumbass mushroom-head,” he nodded. “Snufkin, I- I don’t want you to leave. I would  _ never _ wish for such a thing. Because I do like you a lot, you’re my bestest friend, a- and I’d be telling you the biggest lie ever if I said I hate you again, because in fact I kind of love you. 

I love you so much- The same way Papa loves Mama, the way I was supposed to love  _ you _ . And I’m so sorry- I- I’m sorry for saying I hate the sound of your voice, and your songs and your existence, Snufkin. I lied about that too. I don’t think there is anything in the world that makes me feel better than.. Than the simple fact that you  _ exist _ . Please- Please don’t leave, not forever.. Don’t leave me.”

Snufkin’s brain stopped. You could see it on his face. It froze, and so did his whole body, except for his goddamn heart, which started going crazy instead, pumping red to his cheeks. Moomin loved him. He had just said that. Right? Yes, yes, he had. It still felt so much like one of Snufkin’s imaginary scenarios, so much like just a wish. Was that bad or good? Should Moomin love him? What should he do about this information slap?

“I’m not going anywhere, my Moomintroll,” that came accidentally too soft as he tried to push those overwhelming feelings down. He felt wonderful and that felt awful. It didn’t work. 

He had to put his sister down, her almost nonexistent weight threatening his legs to give up. Gosh, how badly he wanted to just sit down and cry for a moment. Snufkin wasn’t sad, he was thrilled – and he had no idea what to do about that. His heart wasn’t used to so many emotions in only one day. 

“Oh goodness,” he breathed, and a sniffle came right behind, making both of his friends gape. Snufkin was crying. This was a blue-moon-like type of rare, and there he was, tearing up in front of them, gawkily wiping his tears with his sweater sleeves over and over, but making barely a sound. He tried, once again, to speak, struggling as he tried not to trip over the shaky words he was uttering, “I’m very, very glad you came flying to tell me the truth, Moomin, maybe I should return you the favor. 

I really don’t know what I’d do if I lost my one and only best friend.. You probably know this already, but I love you, too much to ever leave and forget this valley. I- It has turned into my home, like no place has ever been, and I could feel what it is like to have the most amazing family, all because of you,” he inhaled trembly. “You, Moomintroll, are the only living being able to make me feel like I can fly.”

He twitched, startled when he felt Moomin’s hand on his shoulder and opened his eyes. Moomin was no longer floating, feet buried in the yellow flowers the ground was covered with. His arms were open, his expression somewhere between sheepish and solaceful. Snufkin allowed himself to leap into his lover’s arms, his hat falling with the movement, but he had Moomin’s shoulder to hide his face on now so he didn’t care. 

The mumrik could feel Moomin melting in the hug and chuckled, he knew the moomintroll treasured every single act of physical affection Snufkin would give him like gold. Which made sense, because those were almost like yearly events: hugs from Snufkin, and were brief most of the time. That's what made them so special, the moomin guessed. But this time, neither of them broke apart. They had both thought that day was going to be the day they would lose each other, but in the end… that was the day they finally had each other. That plot twist did deserve a nice hug.

Well, it would sure have lasted two more minutes if Moomin's stomach hadn't growled loudly, making Snufkin frown in concern. 

"Did you eat your breakfast, Moomintroll?"

"HE HAD A BREAKDOWN IN HIS ROOM, AND FLIED AWAY WHEN SNORKMAIDEN TRIED TO GIVE HIM FOOD!" Little My snitched on Moomin.

Snufkin playfully crossed his arms and pretended to be awfully disappointed, the same way he had seen Moominmamma do.

"Nooo, not the mumma-rik look!" he laughed. "I'm gonna eat as soon as we get home!"

"You better do! I'm gonna eat too."

"Little My, you had breakfast already."

"Only two! I want my third breakfast!"

"How can a creature so small eat enough food for a whole village?" Snufkin huffed. "I think I could go to Moominhouse too, I have to place my tent at my usual spot again. And my clothes should be dry by now, I really miss my pants."

"Ohh, you don't want them back, little bro, believe me."

While they started their walk down the mountain, Moomin pondered out loud, 

“Should we tell the others soon? I really don't want anybody to assume Snorkmaiden is the one I love now. It would be awkward.”

Snufkin stiffened, but kept his voice calm as he answered, after some time in silence, 

“I think everyone should know how you really feel about Snorkmaiden. You should tell your family the moment we get back.”

“How?”

“Yelling ‘I AM DATING SNUFKIN FROM NOW ON’, obviously,” Little My smirked. 

“ _ We’re not dating _ ,” Snufkin affirmed immediately. “He’ll just stop dating Snorkmaiden for their own good.”

Both of his friends clamped their mouths shut at his tone. Moomin knew Snufkin didn't like.. labeling his relationships. It had taken him at least three years to finally accept his friends as friends, and two more years to call Moomin his best friend. Boyfriend was another thing.

"We don't have to date. Dating is overrated anyways, isn't it? We don't need to be boyfriends to love each other. Who even decided it was necessary? Besides, we're still best friends."

"...That.. sounds great," Snufkin muttered. "I would like that. But are you really okay with not dating?"

"I've been a boyfriend for too long now, I'd be more than happy to take a break from dating."

"Alright, you could yell 'Snufkin is my significant other' or 'Snufkin is my lover' instead then," the redhead growled. "Still, you have to make sure you don't hurt Snorkmaiden. I'm seriously tired of watching my idiots cry."

"I think we could just announce it like we do with all good news. It's not really anything to be ashamed of, I guess.. I was worried about the fact we're both boys, but now that I thought about it: nobody minds."

"I couldn't agree more, Moomintroll. I think I have a plan."

"A plan?"

"You just have to make sure Sniff will be there."


	7. Lava Mushroom-Honey Boiled Unicorn Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The potion doesn't go well, but that's alright.

Maybe she shouldn’t have stayed.

She definitely should not have stayed.

“We need more water! Quick!”

“On it, Mama!” she rushed outside to the water pit.

As she lifted the bucket, now full, and rushed back inside again, she failed to notice three of her friends standing just outside the door. 

Snorkmaiden filled the saucepan with water only to have it fastly turned into a purple glittery steam. The upper half of the kitchen was completely covered with that same thick smoke, the three noted as they peered inside of the room, although the windows were wide open. Moominmamma seemed exhausted, stirring whatever weird soup she was cooking at a dangerous speed. Her face said both ‘this is not going to work’ and ‘this has to work’ at the same time, coated in sweat just like the blonde snork. The kitchen was  _ hot _ and it wasn’t exactly easy to breathe in the purple smoke, so that was understandable. 

“What are you cooking?!” Little My yelled just before Snorkmaiden could leave for more water. “Telling you, I am NOT gonna have boiled unicorn blood with sprinkles for lunch.”

“It smells more like dirty mushrooms and.. honey?” Moomin guessed, stepping closer to the stove and regretting it the second he felt its heat. “AGH! Mama, that’s too hot! You shouldn’t be this close to that lava-mushroom-and-honey-unicorn-blood soup!”

“It’s not a soup, Moomin dear, it’s a potion for Snufkin,” she panted, but then she looked over at the mumrik and unintentionally dropped the spoon. “Oh, you’re not floating anymore!”

“Neither is Moomin!” Snorkmaiden gasped. “How? Why do I always miss the most important parts of the day?!”

“Sniff is the one missing the whole day. I wonder where he went off to. The author probably forgot to add him or simply hates him – I can relate, honestly,” the young mymble complained. “Snufkin stopped floating this morning when Moomin told him to go away, and Moomin stopped floating when Snufkin confessed to him. Disgusting teen love. You’re lucky you missed those two cuddling like yaoi cliché, it was almost like they could just frick-frack right there.”

“I don’t understand half of the words you say, Little My,” Moomintroll raised an eyebrow. "But yeah, Mama, we kinda solved the whole problem on our own."

Moominmamma smiled at her son and her mumrik kid with a knowing look. She knew, of course, it must have been a long day already even if it wasn't even lunchtime yet. Although she hadn't known Moomin had also been floating, it didn't matter now: they were both alright, safe and sound, and they seemed to have had the long talk they needed to have. 

They were two wonderful kids with a big but still ongoing history together. They started off so small and innocent, now there they were, fixing their issues on their own. She didn't need that potion. 

Said potion started making a funny burning noise.

"Mama? Weren't we supposed to fill it with water every ten seconds?" Snorkmaiden stepped away from the saucepan, which was wriggling and making more and more of a darker purple smoke. 

"IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE!" Little My warned.

They all hurried out just barely a second before they heard a loud ‘BOOM’ and the purple steam spread through the house. Moominpappa came dashing downstairs, probably from his work. 

“...I’m not even going to ask,” he said as he looked inside the kitchen with the others. 

The kitchen was entirely caked in a glimmering violet substance. The saucepan was still there, thankfully, nothing was destroyed. Moomin tried to touch the failed potion out of curiosity, but retrieved her hand with a squawk, it was still too hot. He was so glad nobody would have to drink that villain thing.

“It is a good thing we didn’t need that potion,” Moominmamma said in shock. “What a mess it made… How am I going to clean it all before lunchtime?”

“We could have leftover pie for lunch!”

“That doesn’t sound very healthy, Little My,” Moomin looked at his fingers. They were still lingering from touching that purple lava thing (Snufkin noticed. He said nothing), it would be impossible to go inside the kitchen until it was chilled. “And we can’t go get the pie yet, there’s ‘boiled unicorn blood’ all over the cupboard we keep it in.”

“I could share the fish I caught with you, but it’s only enough for one person,” Snufkin mentioned. He glanced over at his snork friend, “Snorkmaiden, you can cook, can’t you?”

“Oh! I’m not as good as Moominmamma is, but I sure can try!” she chirped. 

“I could help you, dear, you’ve worked so hard in here to help me with the potion, it’s the least I can do,” Mama picked a basket up. "I'm going to the vegetable garden to bring you tomatoes and maybe we could make a tomato cream, does that sound good?"

Her children cheered and she sighed happily. Moominmamma loved the way there was literally nothing in the world – not floating body coping mechanisms, not fights, not misunderstandings, not fear, not self-esteem falls – that could put her kids down. In the end, they were always happy, and Mama couldn't be more grateful.

  
  
  


The Snorkhouse table was not made for big families. Only two could eat on it at the same time, maybe three if the third one was an ant. So they decided to have a picnic by the Snorks' garden instead of eating inside, enjoying the bird songs and gentle breeze (Moomin didn't know if he should be mad at the wind or not, it was a complicated relationship), the sun was up and it wasn't as cloudy as it had been in the morning. 

Out of habit, the family sat on their usual spots; Sniff by Little My’s side, Snorkmaiden by Moomin’s, Mama and Papa at the picnic blanket ends, and Snufkin a few meters away. They were having toast with tomato cream soup, but the mumrik decided to eat the fish he caught earlier instead. The cream seemed delicious, but it had to be enough for everyone to eat as much as they liked, so he refused to take a bowl, Snufkin explained. Mama still gave him some toast and juice. 

“Hey, Moomin, why do you have bandages on your fingers?” he heard Sniff ask.

“Ah? Oh, Snufkin gave them to me. My fur was going purple and it hurt a lot, so he forced me to take care of it,” Moomin told him, stuffing half a toast in his mouth. “It stopped hurting after I washed it, but he said the bandages would protect my fingers from infections.”

“Snufkin is so wise,” Sniff gasped.

“I’m wise too!” Little My butted in. “I would have chopped your fingers off! Problem solved!”

“But then it would only hurt more! That’s not wise, that’s silly!” Snorkmaiden huffed.

“I’m gonna chop your tongue off, Snorkmaid–”

He didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, turning to look at the elder snork, who had just filled his own bowl with cream. Snork scanned the picnic blanket for a place where he could sit, but when he found none, he awkwardly went to sit next to Snufkin. But not too close. Never too close. Everyone around the valley knew one shouldn’t sit too close to a mumrik, Moomin made sure to warn everybody a few years ago. It just made him uncomfortable, though it seemed most people thought the warning was because he would attack whoever entered his personal space of 5 feet – not true. Who even started that rumour?

Anyways, he greeted the snork with a nod. That seemed to make him relax and smile a little. 

“You know, it’s kind of surprising Moomin and Snorkmaiden are still dating after all those years. I’m pretty sure they started at age four or five,” Snork said, before Snufkin could return his focus to the others’ talk. “To be honest, sometimes I thought Moomin was dating you, but then Snorkmaiden kept referring to Moomin as her boyfriend. I was so confused.”

The mumrik watched Snork while he watched his sister. 

“They seem to be happy together. I’m not sure I would be a good replacement for Snorkmaiden, ever. Why would you say that?”

“I- I DIDN’T MEAN TO OFFEND YOU- I- It’s just that, I have this feeling you and Moomin simply understand each other. It’s like you two know one another way better than he and Snorkmaiden do. You never fight, you’re just constantly looking up and caring for each other. I’ve never had a best friend or a lover, but I know you must be incredibly fond of him, and he of you.”

“We are. But we do have bad days. There is not a relationship without those. Except Mama and Papa, I’ve never seen them get upset.”

“That’s because it’s impossible to get mad around Mama,” he chuckled, eating a piece of toast. “..I guess I just worry, sometimes. About Snorkmaiden. If it wasn’t for the Moomins, I would have had to raise Snorkmaiden on my own, and I’d never have been able to give her as much attention as she needed. She still needs a lot of it. Maybe it’s my fault, maybe it’s a girls thing, but when she doesn’t get her daily amount of attention, she just gets _ sad _ . I wonder ‘what would my parents do?’ but, frankly, I have no idea.”

Snufkin thought for a minute. Snorkmaiden was one of his closest friends, and if there was anything he knew about her was that she was, yes, a simp for attention. She beamed when people complimented her and even brightened at hearing her own name, much like Greek gods do. Her favorite place was at the spotlights and Princess was like her first name.

As far as Snufkin knew, Moomin had been able to do his 'boyfriend duty' perfectly up until then. He was a flawless gentleman, always making sure she was satisfied. He'd even practice some lines and moves for her. 

But for the mumrik, Moomintroll could be himself and himself only, no practice and no duty at all – Snufkin made sure of it. He considered Moomin to be perfect only for being the way he truly was. Snorkmaiden sure didn't like it as much as he did.

So if Snorkmaiden thought Moomin's prince charming act wasn't enough, then she must want a real prince instead, one who could take care of her 24/7 and give her presents every week. It did seem like a girl's dream boyfriend.

“You’re trying to say Moomin doesn’t make Snorkmaiden as happy as he makes me,” the mumrik deadpanned. It wasn’t even a question.

“Is it wrong to think she deserves better..?” Snork muttered

“Not really. You’re her brother after all, it’s fairly natural,” he gazed at the moomin and snork they were talking about. They were chatting about how the failed potion must have tasted, he heard, then a heated argument about it tasting like mushrooms, honey or blood started. "It's not your fault, Snork. She is a lovely girl and I'd say you did a great job raising her. Your parents would be proud of both of you, I'm sure of it."

After a minute of silence, neither Snufkin or Snork even moving, the snork cracked a smile.

"Thank you, Snufkin." he said softly, and the mumrik nodded.

"Actually, if it makes you feel better, Snorkmaiden might be breaking up with Moomin today."

"What?!"

"It has been a restless morning," he stood up. "She's been acting natural, but I think she knows Moomin and I love each other. If she keeps avoiding the subject, it's going to be a restless evening too."

Snork followed Snufkin to the picnic blanket as he processed the words the boy had said. Snufkin internally laughed when he caught the snork gasping.

“YOU AND MOOMIN LOVE EACH OTHER?! LIKE- LIKE MAMA LOVES PAPA?”

Snork then cringed at how loud he was. He slowly turned to look at the others and flinched when he saw everyone looking back at him. Even Snorkmaiden, who had an unreadable expression on her face.

“It’s probably been a while, they just didn’t acknowledge it,” Little My shrugged. 

“SNUFKIN AND MOOMIN LOVE EACH OTHER?!  _ THE WAY MAMA LOVES PAPA?!” _ Sniff’s shouting matched Snork’s as he blinked at Moomin. “But didn’t you love Snorkmaiden?!”

Before Mama could shush Sniff for speaking of such a sensitive topic, Moomin hummed.

“Snorkmaiden was the one who made me realize I loved Snufkin, actually. I'm really thankful for that," he smiled warmly at his blonde friend, who seemed sad until he tentatively squeezed her hand. She peeked at Snufkin, took a deep breath, and soon she was smiling back at him. "I still love Snorkmaiden as my best friend, but Snufkin is the one I'd rather.. kiss, or share beds, and eventually do the adult things."

Everyone stilled, Mama choked on her soup and Papa spilled his drink. 

"M- Moomintroll," Snufkin stuttered, hiding his face behind his hat. "I'm not really one for marriage and house building."

"I know, but I was talking about going on dangerous trips by ourselves."

There was a wave of facepalms, Little My cackling with laughter and falling on her back. The oblivious couple just shared a confused look.

"DO YOU TWO EVEN KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM?" the little mymble wheezed.

"From storks?" Moomin guessed.

"From baskets, Moomin," Snufkin shook his head, stating it as if it was a fact. "Boxes sometimes."

Now it wasn't only Little My laughing out loud. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's only one chapter left, and it's gonna be fully fluff. I'm warning you.


	8. Awake At 1AM With No Excuses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snufkin and Moomin can't sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for waiting until I had 41 kudos to post this. Just kidding, I own nothing to humanity, enjoy the fluff

It hadn’t started as a good day, but it sure was one.

After the picnic, everybody helped clean Moominmamma’s kitchen and it was a 5 hours hard work. Surprisingly, the purple substance wasn't hard to scrub off, it easily came out with water – the big problem was that it had gotten  _ everywhere _ after the explosion. They had to put so much potion-covered food away Little My almost cried. 

Well, after having it all shiny clean, they had to wash themselves too. The sea was too cold at that time, so Mama filled the bathtub with warm water and they bathed two by two. Fortunately for Snufkin, Mama let him roll on the dirt and groom himself this time instead, 'You have had your second yearly bath already so I'm not going to force you in,' she had said, 'Besides, I finally managed to make your clothes stop smelling, that should be enough for now'.

Snufkin kicked some dust over his fire and watched it die down, the world growing colder and colder under the moonlight. With a soft ‘brrrr’, the mumrik entered his tent and zipped it shut so the freezing cold didn't come in. 

Winter was close. That was good. He needed winter more than ever after that day.

Moomin loved him. He was so happy.

He loved Moomin back and everyone knew that now.

It still felt wrong, it still didn't feel real. If it was for him to diagnose himself, he'd say he was terribly nervous. 

Snufkin had loved Moomin for years now, and it was always a bittersweet secret he kept to himself. He'd feel a little hopeful – for maybe Moomin could love him too one day – and also a little frustrated, because why would Moomin ever leave Snorkmaiden for him? They looked like the perfect couple, Snorkmaiden never had to leave for winter, or to randomly have some time alone. She liked to be hugged and to be there all the time, just like Moomin. Yes, they fought a lot, yes, they couldn't really understand each other. They kept complaining about it all the time: they couldn't even stand one another some days. But Snufkin assumed that was just how their relationship was.

Now everything was going to change. So it made sense he was nervous. 

The mumrik was one to admire changing. He loved to watch the green leaves turn red in the fall, to watch the blue sky turn gray, to watch as his friends grew with him. Changing was a natural thing, something that just.. happened. One can not stop things from changing.

But when it came to himself, Snufkin  _ hated _ changing. His life was good as it was, he didn't need anything more and he didn't need anything less.

For example: he hadn't needed reddish brown fur to grow over his nose and arms and hands and  _ everywhere, holy heck _ . The day he had noticed it, Mama and Papa spent hours trying to calm him down. It was normal for mumriks, Papa had told him, Snufkin's father had to go through that too. He still hated it back then, he had to groom himself every day and it itched all the time.

That was why even though he had always wanted Moomin to love him back, he had no idea what to feel about it now.

"Snufkin? Are you in there?" he heard from outside. "Knock, knock."

"Moomintroll," he opened his tent. "Awake at 1AM?"

"D- Did I wake you up?"

"No, I was awake at 1AM too."

"I lost my blanket. I could just tell Mama so she could give me a new one, but I don't want to tell her I lost her best breakfast tray too."

"What a fine excuse you made, I was just awake overthinking," Snufkin laughed. "Come in, it's cold outside."

The moomin silently went inside the tent and sat down on the floor. Once the tent was closed, Snufkin sat next to his friend.

"I, um.. I want to- to ask you something. It's weird, but it's very important."

"Ask away, I'm not going to judge you."

"Snufkin, d- do you.. do you think you'd be happier if I didn't love you?"

"I'm judging you  _ so hard _ right now."

"I- I MEAN- I have this feeling I did something wrong… Snorkmaiden told me she's really sad because she still loves me. And I, I don't want her to hurt, but I don't want to hurt myself either. It feels like everything is ruined now that I'm happy."

"What a coincidence, I feel much the same," Snufkin raised his eyebrows. "Moomin, you know I'm happy too, don’t you? I don't think any of us regret loving each other. I think we're both just scared."

"Scared?"

"Well, I know _ I’m _ scared. I am terrified. I don't want things to change, but I think everything will be much better if they do change."

"That's it then," Moomin hugged his own knees. "We don't want things to change, even though they have to."

"Well.. Not everything has to change. I'm still Snufkin, you're still my Moomintroll. I'm still going to travel South and I know you're still going to wait for me to get back," he realized, opening out a blanket on the floor. "The only changes will be the ones we want to happen. It.. It's something we get to choose ourselves."

He was right: their relationship wasn't like the sky or the trees. They could control their own changes. Much like Snufkin could choose not to take a shower, he could choose not to be with Moomin all the time – even if he did need showers and Moomin.

Moomintroll seemed to be lost in thought for a while and only snapped back to reality when Snufkin patted the blanket. He looked at him, stunned, as if the inviting hadn't been obvious.

"Some things will change, Moomin. Like, touching is allowed. If I feel as though it's too much, I'll warn you."

"You're- You- Are you telling me I can hug you from now on?"

"Yes. You could do it right now, but you have to go to bed first."

Moomin gasped, not even trying to hide his excitement, but then stopped.

"I didn't bring my sleeping bag.."

"I know. Use mine."

“But then where are  _ you _ going to sleep??”

“Mumriks sleep anywhere as long as it’s not a bed.”

“YOU CAN’T SLEEP OUTSIDE, IT’S FREEZING!”

“I was planning on sleeping on the floor.”

“Wh- YOU CAN’T SLEEP ON THE FLOOR EITHER!”

“Why? It’s comfortable.”

“sNuFKiN–”

“Please calm down, Moomin, I was joking,” he spoke, trying hard not to laugh. 

The mumrik ended up giving in when his friend aggressively forced him to lay down on the soft quilt first, snorting and soon cackling with laughter. Moomin, at the sight of such amusing thing as Snufkin laughing, couldn’t help but crack a delighted smile and laugh along. 

“Now, honestly,” Snufkin tried to catch his breath again, “I was hoping we could share the space. I would normally sleep on my sleeping bag, but we wouldn’t fit in it together. So we could use it as our pillow and use the blanket as a rug instead.”

Moomintroll looked astonished, laugh pausing as he gazed at his mumrik, who was sitting on the dark quilt, still chuckling a little, but awfully flushed pink (his hat had probably fallen off when Moomin pushed him to the blanket bed). Snufkin was so obviously on the verge of freaking out it almost hurt Moomin because of how unfair it was – Snufkin didn’t have to act so calm all the time. It’s not like the moomintroll hadn’t seen the mumrik cry or lose temper before.

“You know you don’t have to do boyfriend stuff if you don’t feel comfortable, right?”

Snufkin curled up on himself, averting his gaze to nowhere in particular and muttered a ‘boyfriend stuff?’ while fidgeting with his tail. 

“I- Y- You said you wanted to- to share beds, earlier, at lunch. I figured that is the only thing out of your list that I’m ready to do yet.. We could try travelling South together if you want to, it’s an adult thing.”

“No, no, no- Snufkin, I do want to do all of what I listed, but I won’t do it if you don’t want to. Alright? Do  _ you _ want me to sleep in here with you?”

The mumrik quickly nodded, daring to look up at Moomin. 

“Yes, I do want you to. I- I’m just..” he swallowed, uncurling to reach That Old Backpack™ (which he kept because he no one asked for it back) and take a second blanket out of it. “I’ve actually always wanted to have a sleepover with you, only you. Just to simply sleep. But I guess it’s easier daydreamed than done..?”

“I shouldn’t laugh because I’ve daydreamed about the same thing multiple times and we both know it because we were both flying, but look at you,” he giggled. “You’re adorable, Snuf!”

“Oh shush! Can’t you see I’m already trying too hard not to turn into a tomato? Do you want to give me a heart attack?”

Moomintroll, once again, burst out laughing, before plopping down on the blanket bed, laying on his side. Snufkin rolled his eyes and scoffed playfully as he lay close to the moomin, covering both of them with the second blanket, which was enough to make Moomin quiet down. How exciting! He was going to sleep next to Snufkin! Of course he’d done it before while camping, but now it was only the two of them. 

Snufkin was lying as he usually did, straight on his back, head resting over his arms. Moomin wondered if the mumrik would ever be up to cuddling to sleep, but he really didn’t want to push too far. Snufkin would get overwhelmed like Moomin got that morning.

To Moomin’s surprise – a  _ big _ surprise – the mumrik snuggled up to him like a little kitten, one arm still under his head while the other one rested between the moomin and himself, his legs coming up to meet Moomin’s and tail timidly entwining around one of the moomintroll’s ankles. He was looking at his own fingers as if he would die otherwise, trying not to meet his lover's gaze, but he had to look up eventually to see Moomin’s reaction. Moomintroll giggled, putting an arm around him to pull him the tiniest bit closer – which was enough to bury Snufkin on his chest – and nuzzling the top of his head. 

“We’re not doing the adult stuff this year. You must be craving for this winter trip alone after this whole floating mess, I was actually expecting you to tell me you were parting earlier this time.”

“...Thank you, Moomintroll. For understanding. But I’ll stay until you start to hibernate, just like I promised.” 

“You’re free to do as you wish, except if you wish to arrive dying again.”

“Oh, that was a long time ago! You seriously need to let it go, I was just a kit.”

“I can’t just ‘let it go’! I WAS WORRIED SICK! You came like, four months late and then just FAINTED! You have to tell me what happened that year!”

“Hmm, perhaps I’ll tell you in another fanfic.”

“Another fanfic?!” Moomin growled, not really mad. “Little My told me fanfics lasted months!”

“Not really. Fanfics could last years or only minutes. This one only lasted three days up until now, for example.”

“You and Little My have to teach me how to count fanfics, I don’t even get what it is.”

“I think it’s something only my father can explain,” he yawned. 

“You sleepy?” Moomin asked. The mumrik nodded, blinking slowly, and then the moomin himself yawned loudly, causing them both to giggle. “Maybe we shouldn’t have stayed awake with no excuses until 1AM.”

Moomintroll slid his fingers through the other's messy honey brown hair, pretty much doing him some cafuné, and Snufkin wrapped his free arm around his lover's waist. This time though, he didn't stop himself from purring, finally relaxing now that he was nestled in such a fluffy bed. Moomin gasped, but didn't comment. He just smiled.

And there, in each other's arms, warm on a cold night, they both concluded: that was where they belonged. That was  _ real _ , it wasn't just a wish or a happy thought. And that was just  _ right _ , that was perfect. 

  
  
  
  
  


"Wait,  _ is that my towel  _ ?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to draw them with the towel covering because I just HAD to draw their tails, sorry not sorry
> 
> Anyways, I guess this is the end of this fic. Which means goodbye for a while until I come up with my next fic.  
> I thought about writing on the "Mumma-rik" or "Snufkinpappa" idea, or maybe something with Joxter & Snufkin bonding, I really don't know. But it's gonna be out soon
> 
> I love you all a lot and I wish you a happy- oH NO I SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE A WISH *FLYING AWAY* OH GOODNESS DANG IT WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN WHY GOD NOOOO


End file.
